Are you in a situation where you feel your parenting is judged? Are you dealing with a spouse with primary custody that thinks they know everything about parenting? They constantly criticize you and attack your decision making process regarding your parenting. They think that they know it all and micromanage your choices and insist you are doing it all wrong. You do not have to put up with such abuse – and it is abuse. You can file to modify custody in your county.
A.D. v. A.B., 2017 Pa. Super. Unpub. LEXIS 3690, *10-13 is just such a case. The Court thought that it was paramount in its decision two major factors. First the Court felt that one of the most important issues in making its determination was the safety and security of the child in question. The Court looked at the child’s living circumstances. The father lived in the same place for four years without moving. The mother however moved at least five times that the Court was aware of. The Court felt that the fact that the child was better served coming to the father’s same home with every visit.
The Court, not surprisingly also felt that subsection 1, which states that the Court values which party is more likely to encourage and permit frequent and continuing contact between the child and another party – was also of importance in making its determination. The Court felt that the father was most malleable and flexible in handling conflicts of schedule and other issues. Moreover, the court agreed with the assessment of the custody evaluator, Dr. Rosenstein, as follows, in part.
“Mother acts in a “proprietary” manner toward and views herself as the “main and most important parent,” while her perspective is that Father is essentially the secondary parent and should follow her lead. Mother believes that having primary custody entitles her to have more say, even on smaller issues such as bedtime and diet which can realistically vary from one household to another.”
The custody evaluator felt that the mother could use some therapy for acting in the manner that she did.
The bottom line here is that when a spouse moves around and provides no real stability to the child this is a custody factor that will weigh against the spouse that moves. Second, when a parent is proprietary regarding a child and attempts to exclude the other parent, a Court will view this very dimly.
You do not have to take your ex-spouse’s abuse in this situation.