Why is it that people think that their lives are going to get so much better after a divorce, then they had it during marriage? The most common result is that most of the time your life simply changes – it does not get better unless you make it better. The clear majority of people never face the absolute unassailable fact that most of the reason you had a bad marriage was in part because of your mistakes both in choosing a partner and your failure to keep the love alive. This isn’t always true – but most of the time it is. Also, and this statement won’t be well received, if your partner is beating or hurting you then your desire to stay in this type of relationship is your own fault. Yes. Staying in it an abusive and controlling relationship is horrible but even if you are on the street it is better than getting your ass beaten or your emotions wrecked. Empower yourself!
Everyone is so utterly unrealistic about divorce. The guys think that there are all sorts of hot young women who are just dying to sleep with them. Guess what? If you are old and fat and don’t have any communication skills guess what will be happening? You will be sitting at home on weekends or trolling the internet dating sites looking for love. If you are still in good shape and have some rap and some coin then you might have a better shot – but do you want to explode your life for a warm body? You have a warm body that used to love you. Why don’t you both work on getting that love back? Get some exercise. Learn to appreciate your spouse for what they do for you. Find in them those qualities that you fell in love with. It is still there if you look for it.
As far as divorce making you happy – if you were a miserable person before the divorce I can bet you that you will remain miserable after the divorce. How about working on yourself? How about working on your body. How about working on your personality? How about working on your world view? How about stopping and learning how to love instead of thinking about yourself and what your partner allegedly isn’t giving to you.
Hey, sometimes you should get divorced. I get that. Believe me some relationships should NOT be salvaged. However before you walk into my office please try to make it better.