It cannot be emphasized more, that one of the relevant custody factors is how the ex-spouses comport themselves with each other and in front of the children. In, Kidane v. Grosu, 2017 Pa. Dist. & Cnty. Dec. LEXIS 2434 (Pa. C.P. Aug. 1, 2017) the mother filed a petition to modify custody for various reasons. The case is illustrative of how a Court views the communications and behavior of parents in a custody action. In Kidane, the father had majority custody and the mother was attempting to change that schedule.
Both parties entered evidence with regard to their communications. The mother saved a ton of emails between the parties. They were particularly vituperative. One email specifically indicated that if Father did not get the mother’s cooperation, he would be uncooperative with regard to custody. It was clearly a threat. The Court also noted that the father continued to express anger and bitterness about the breakup of the marriage.
The Mother indicated that the father remains “extremely bitter” about custody. The mother likewise was angry and difficult in her communications and emails. The emails contain emotional and disparaging statements which are accusatory by both parties. This is clearly a negative in the eyes of the Court. Of all the negative statements, the worst statements seem to be the father’s statements threatening to limit the mother’s access to the child. The Court found on this factor, in favor of the mother as although her statements may be emotional and cruel, she did not threaten to keep the child away from the father.
The take away here is that negative statements and emotional statements are typically part of these custody battles and are accepted if not liked by the Court. However, threats concerning the child will result in losing your battle.