“You are such a bitch! You are a bastard! Why are you acting like such a jerk? All you care about is the money!”
Attorneys read through the emails provided by clients during preparation for divorce and custody trials. Sometimes it is hard to handle that two normally intelligent loving people that once said, “I do,” are capable of such cruelty to each other. And in my opinion the vast, vast, vast (yes, I said it three times earning the ire of the grammar checker) majority of these statements made verbally or in written communication, mean nothing. They do not influence the outcome of the divorce or custody litigation. Ask yourself how well ex-spouses typically communicate during the breakup of a marriage or relationship. Not too many of them have happy feelings toward each other. Typically, there isn’t much cordiality.
You are not special. Your emails are not going to be the lodestone of your case. I promise.
Imagine you are a jurist. You are compelled to hear this sort of thing constantly. How much credence to you think they will give to these angry sentiments? You may think they are important. You may think to yourself that any Judge that reads these horrible statements will end up hating your opponent in Court. Guess what? They have heard it all. They are tired of hearing it all.
Judges will be much more impressed with rational calm communication between both parties. If you think that you can go into Court and tell the Judge that your communication problems are wholly the fault of your soon to be ex-spouse, you are for the most part completely deluding yourself and you are displaying little psychological insight into your own behavior and responsibility in the conflict.
The bottom line here is that while all the nastiness in emails may be important to YOU, for the most part they mean nothing to the Jurist and will not have much influence on the outcome of your divorce or your custody battle. There are certainly communications that are relevant – but insults are fairly typical and of little import.